Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
