im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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