Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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