She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
