you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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