I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
