he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
