Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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