yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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