i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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