Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
