meet me or not, i'm out of control
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
