Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
