Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
