Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We are all done wearing pants today
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
