Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
