Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
