i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
