16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize