The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
