Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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