Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
