I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
