That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
