i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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