just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
