Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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