She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
