I got chris browned last night
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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