Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
