I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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