This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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