Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
