i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
