So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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