Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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