if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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