he told me I talked like a deaf person
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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