so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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