Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
