By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
