I look better un-naked...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
