Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
