She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
