That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
