there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
