she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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