he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
