I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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