I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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