just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
