haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
its not stalking. its research.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I will be naked everywhere
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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