So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
