Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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