I bet he comes in French.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
