is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
