when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
