i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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