Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize