Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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